NOTE: these are only assignments and deadlines for HALF the week.

Gosh, I’m really drowning in assignments. Praying I’ll survive the hectic week. Well, it’s kinda good to be busy at times though. At least it means that there won’t be ‘before sleep thoughts’ that prevents me from sleeping.

Strangely, there’s this weird emptiness within me that is making me feel really uncomfortable lately. I guess it’s due to cooping myself at home lately. I need a getaway. School is robbing me of not only my freedom, but my sleep. I really dont know what I’m feeling right now. My whole mind is like a tornado. Unorganized and lost.
Off to complete my work instead of complaining here to myself.

what’s happening to me?

You might have guessed it, I’ve gotten back my results for tests and term test and some project grades. Yes they might seem okay, but I’m Asian. Okay is never enough. Well I’m still thankful for the few good results but it’s not enough to make me forget about the bad ones.

Furthermore I got even more depressed yesterday looking at my really really damaged hair. I wish I could do something. You might think I’m making a mountain out of a molehill. So here’s prove:

One only?


Told you. And there’s more I’m just too lazy to remove them all.

I really need to do something to my hair. Any recommendations for damaged hair?
I wish I could cut it, but there would be more baby and with my current hair I’ve already been failing grooming for every SSM session.

Oh well hope next week will be better. This week feels like a rollercoaster ride for me.

And now I’m freaking stuck in a jam. I shall get an eye shut, probably makes me feel better.

Hello 2012, i love you. So please love me back by being less bitchy compared to 2011 okay?
2011 hasn’t really been a good year. More downs than ups, i’d say.
But well, we learn from our setbacks and that’s what make us become a stronger person today.
I do foresee 2012 to have different obstacles to overcome, but i hope it’ll make me learn something from them.

A brief summary of 2011, a really brief one because it wasn’t exactly a fruitful year.

Studied at Sentosa;

New class, new friends, new project mates and new environment.

Got shortlisted by SLG;

Just because i’ve awesome group mates. Though we didn’t get selected in the end, i love my group mates! :D

Worked for the first time in my life;

It wasn’t my only job. All the jobs i hold was really fun. Love the people there!

Went to China with awesome people;

Love it, i’d rewind time to go back! Cant believe i went to a foreign land with 18 people that i do not know before and had so much fun with them! Won’t say we’re exactly close, but i like being with them! :)

Survive half of SSM and conquered Prof Test 1;

Yes, i look horrible. But it’s memories. Slapping ridiculous amount of gel on your hair once every week. Even though i hate it, I’d look back and reminisce about these days. Oh sigh, the tiring but fun days.

Had my first formal interview;

- NO PICTURE- but i was nervous as heck okay. The feeling, i’d never forget.
I’d say i manage it pretty well since i was accepted. hahaha, i’m awesome. Nah, just kidding. I was really nervous and i had close to zero expectations of getting it. It came as a surprise, really.

Family matters which was :(
i’m just silently praying. Hope 2012 will be a better year for my parents. <3 Guess this incident made me realise i should cherish what i have right now.

Still being close to the monkeys;

Although we meet up less compared to previous years, I’m glad we still try to make the effort to meet up, hang out and just chill.
Hope this would go on! ♥

The girls;

I love how they’re in JC2 but still make the effort to meet us even though they have to study for A’s!
All the best for your results! ♥♥♥

The poly kiddos;

so glad to know you all in year 1! Even though we hardly ever meet out of school. But its okay still <3 you all! :D

2011 also marks the year i bought my iphone and i guess i really cant live w/o a smart phone anymore.
So that sums up whatever that i could remember. The rest are probably just some insignificant things or things that would happen every year? Idk, but these are just the “major” ones.

So are you ready for 2012?!
Lets set some resolutions/goals!
1) Increase GPA!
2) Learn the guitar
3) Try something for the first time (clubbing excluded)
4) Widen my social life = talk to people more, be less shy, be less awkward.
5) Decorate my room!! (idk why i keep procrastinating)
6) Sleep earlier(before 1am)
7) Read more books (okay i actually read more books in 2011 than in 2010, so i think in 2012 i wanna read even more!)
8) Watch a movie alone
9) Tone up!

That’s actually all that i could think of now. Will add more if i ever think of any again.

I wish y’all have a great year ahead! Forget all the unhappiness in 2011 and kick start 2012 with a bang!
Gonna end 2011/start 2012 with awesome people, pretty sure it’ll be good. :)

talk to y’all again in 2012! <3

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
(All i want for christmas is to be happy forever!)

Well, not exactly a christmas person. But christmas is a joyous occasion! The season of giving!
Although, i do not have any tradition of getting gifts for people cause i find gift giving a chore. I practically have no idea what to get for people, because i think too much. “what if they dont like it?” yup, my biggest problem. I’d make cards but i ain’t no artist so.. i’m just gonna do nothing. haha. okay i promise i’d do something in years to come. watch me! & christmas isn’t exactly a day for gift giving, it’s a day where one should spend with people they care. Family, friends, bf/gf! :D

So over the days that i wasn’t here. Half the time i’m just questioning myself about life etc. The rest was just my normal daily routine.

Proficiency test 1, checked!
Went for interviews, checked!
“secured” internship position, checked! (haven’t accept the offer, but i guess its secured?”
worked for RWS again, checked!
MICE project, HALF DONE.
Shop for CNY, NOT DONE.

School’s starting in a week’s time. This coming week.. weekends would be burned enjoying myself.  Weekdays would have to be meeting up with people, doing work and shopping. Hate it whenever i need to get clothes, nothing catches my eye. Ugh.
I wanna start coming up with 2012 resolutions! i know every year i say i wouldn’t want to come up with resolutions but i just feel that i need some goals so that i’d achieve something every year. Its meaningless to live by nothing. So i’ve decided to come up with resolutions. Yay me!

I shall prepare my list and tell y’all on 31st Dec!

If a place like this exist, would you please bring me along?
I’d be eternally grateful to you.
I just want to leave this place, to a place where nobody knows me.
I need change in my life, because everyone’s changing.

To be honest, It’s sad how everyone’s changing, and i dont quite like it.
Maybe it’s just human nature to hate changes.
Everyday i ask myself ” what am i doing with my life?”
Why am i the only one remaining status quo?
As much as i like it this way, it’s time to keep up with everyone’s pace.

If one day, i happen to be gone forever..
what would i have achieved?
Who would be there?

]]> http://impossiblereality.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/bring-me-along/feed/ 0 allyshear http://impossiblereality.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/getting-the-jitters/ http://impossiblereality.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/getting-the-jitters/#comments Wed, 14 Dec 2011 05:52:18 +0000 allyshear http://impossiblereality.wordpress.com/?p=1562 ]]> I have an interview later and i’m soooo nervous. You have no idea.
I’m just trying to figure out what are some of the questions that might be asked.
why why why, i hate interviews. I never get them right. I need a filter in my head, filter the words that can and cannot be said.
It’d be the best if something just comes over me and i’ll be able to speak eloquently and confidently.
I should probably grab a chocolate bar before i leave for my interview. Let the caffeine get over me.

This is only the first interview, i need to i need to i need to.. remain calm. Plenty more to come man, i must have at least one company to accept me. I cannot imagine if all companies reject me. Then what do i do? Internship = fail? nooooo this cannot happen.

Yes yes yes i am freaking out big time. and noooo i cannot be freaking out. NO ALICIA NO.

I need to find ways to calm myself down. so bye!

-update-
The interview was.. I don’t want to comment about it. The interviewer was friendly though.
Realized today is the freak out day. I’ve my proficiency test tmr and I’m freaking out again cause I don’t wanna screw this up. But if there’s anything I do best, it’s to screw up on important occasions like this. So I’m just gonna pray that everything will go smoothly, like how I hope for it to be.
I need some luck! Please transfer all your luck to me can? I promise i’d return. Pretty pretty please? :(

This is what i wanna do everyday.

I’m so tired this week, even tired is an understatement.
Took a 3 hour nap today when i was only supposed to take an hour. I actually switched off my alarm when it rang but i have zero recollection of me doing anything like that. & now, I’m tired again.

Anyway this week, known by many LRM-ians, is hell week.
preparing all the SIP materials, test, ssm, presentations etc.
It doesn’t seem much but when you have to wake up at ungodly hour you’ll understand. Wednesday, SSM day, i have to wake up at 4.30am. Our test today(Thursday) was at 7.54am, I had to wake up at 5.30am.
SSM the day before an early test is really ….. After SSM, all you wanna do is plank on your bed and never wake up. But now since there’s a test the next day early in the morning, we can’t plank on our beds anymore but instead we have to study when physically and mentally tired. & tmr, it’s the longest day in school.

I don’t even wanna talk about it.
Kinda worried about SIP next semester. Hate making decisions, i don’t even know if having choices for SIP is a good or bad thing.
I kinda wanna try events, but many has told me how tiring it is which kinda stops me. Cause i’m not sure if i’m up for it. 5 months isn’t a small matter. But again, i would rather use 5 months to do something i like than something i don’t. How how howwww?
Everybody’s sending in their application already, i’ve only JUST completed my Cover Letter. I’ll apply the moment my mentor approves of my resume/cover letter. Whoop whoop!

This week, please be over soon. MSTs/prof test next week, please be easy on me.

Hi people, it has been so long since i camwhored using my webcam! Sometimes i love that my webcam quality sucks, cause it is able to cover all my pimples and ugly acne.

Anyway, i’m very happy today. Because i feel damn productive! i completed 3 tasks in a day, 3! It has been forever since i’ve completed so much in a day and i like that feeling. Guess reality is finally knocking me out of my senses. hahahaha, must stop slacking. But bad news is.. holidays are coming and i’ll enter holiday mood once again. At that time, it’ll probably take me forever to start working again. However, look how many tasks i’ve left.

& yes i love my wallpaper okay! Jim Parsons and Johnny Galecki is awesome!

Anyway the blue sticky notes are my “TO DO” and “UPCOMING”. There’s more to do coming luh, this is just what i have to do by this week. Boooohoooo.  Oh and the yellow sticky note tells me what episode i am in for my shows. Cause I’ll always forget! Yes, i’m clueless like that.

Alright i better be off doing my MICE project because there’s MICE lesson tmr and i’m pretty sure we have to show her something. :/
talk to you all soon! <3

Not gonna bore you with the boring stuff, as if you people haven’t had enough of those everyday.
So.. to keep me motivated, i’ve came up with a Quote Of The Semester(QOTS)!
As cliche as the quote sounds, it DOES motivate me and make me feel better about school. serious, not kidding!

QOTS: What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

I know, very cliche! but it works, so i’m good. Everyday Tuesday night, i would chant this quote and make myself feel better for SSM next day. i think to myself if there are batches and batches of students that got it over and done with.. i can too. & I’ll definitely be a stronger person after all this shit ends! :D

yea heard the quote during D&T COURSEWORK/FOLIO times. But looking back, those days albeit tiring at times, it isn’t even 1/4 as bad as anything all of us going through now. It wasn’t even bad, honest. Everyone should come train at TCA. Then waitresses would not be looked down EVER. I’ve new found respect for waitresses/waiters. Especially those working in fine dining/banquet. Thankfully, i’m not the sort to make a fuss minor mistakes they make. Their job is tough!

After hearing so much, you guys must be quite curious what this whole SSM “hype” is about. Ask ANY LRM/HTM/CCM students. We’d have a whole grandmother story to tell you. From grooming checks to the instructor to the proficiency test to the boot camp to operation! I’ll share my whole experience after i’m done.

For now, back to my report!

Dreading every Wednesday. You know whats worse?
Projects have not piled in yet. When it does, please be assured you’ll find me ranting here every single day. Not kidding.
This is the only semester i hate myself for choosing LRM in TP. Why make me hate my course. :( Used to have no regrets. But now, I feel like its the worst mistake i’ve ever made in my entire life. But rest assured, i still have a thing for tourism. BUT not waitressing. Never in my life will i ever get into waitressing. Its just not me. I really hope this sem will pass by like a breeze. Counting down the weeks till our last week of school. GOGOGO! NEED TO TANK.